sabato 26 marzo 2011

Happy surprise

Even if yesterday I just ate too much (1300 kcal i think D:) this morning i weighted myself and i couldn't believe in what I was seeing : 56.4 kg (124.2)!!!!! It's the lowest weight I see in years! YEEEEEE!! I have to continue now.. today I'm going to the gym in order to eliminate the extra calories of yesterday!

I'm not one of those girls who want to be 45-40, i don't want to be extreme thin.. I just want to be light and happy with my body..
I think that 50 kg (110) would be perfect for me.. I don't want to be all bones! 
I'm really motivated at the moment: yesterday night I went out with some of my friends and one of them has a new girlfriend. OMFG she's so thin! I feel very embarassed to stand next to her, and I don't want to feel that way anymore! Soooo let's lose these 7 kg!!

Some legs thinpo (since legs are my biggest problem :/)

venerdì 25 marzo 2011

Sick & Tired

Yesterday's intake : 770 kcal

So, I couldn't sleep this night, and I feel so sick at the moment: headache and pain in my stomach :(
I wanted to go to the gym today..
Yesterday I ate out with my boyfriend.. I have problems with him, maybe he's not the guy for me.. I'm very confuse, I will think about that later..
No uni today but I have a lot of projects to do so it's a very quick post, sorry!

mercoledì 23 marzo 2011

Chubby Me

Ok, I had a HUGE breakfast this morning and I feel so guilty right now! I ate almost 800 kcal!
I feel so depressed! 
I decided to write in english because the most of the blog I follow are in this language so..
I used to bog about my eating disorder two years ago but then i stopped, I stopped because I was frightened of what I could become and I was afraid I could'n stop anymore. I managed to lose 10 kg (22 pounds). Now i'm  58 kg (127.6) but I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I just can't be happy in this body! And I disperatly want to be happy and confindent because i notice that view I have of myself is distroying anything positive around me..
And I want to change, right now.
I plan not to eat at lunch and going to the gym. I have to lose those calories!

Your Sis

giovedì 10 marzo 2011

Quando dalla luna cade una pioggia di cupcakes

Serata di rivelazioni, come una pioggia improvvisa che ti schiarisce la mente, una doccia fredda e inaspettata, piena di sconcertanti verità.
Il problema è che queste verità fanno male, un male dannatamente reale.
Sono rimaste coperte, nascoste negli ultimi anni, celate chissà dove.. Forse le ho sempre sapute e non le ho mai volute ascoltare, perché era più facile andare avanti così, con la convinzione che se aprivo il mio cuore al mondo avrei ricevuto in cambio nient'altro che amore.
Le cose però funzionano diversamente; e molti potranno anche dirmi: "ma te ne accorgi solo ora? ti ci sono voluti 20 anni per capire che il mondo è crudele e fa male, bambina?"
Si, il mondo ti pugnala alle spalle, e anche le persone che ami di più, che stimi di più, alla fine ti deludono. E non una, non due, ma mille volte.
Il mondo ti volta le spalle. E come dice qualcuno (forse Disney), non ti resta che voltargliele tu stessa.